dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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