hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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