its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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