I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
