you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
