wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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