96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
