He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
