I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
