I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
