I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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