Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Panties = found
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
