Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I could fuck to npr.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
