so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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