if only i could text you this smell
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize