I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
