that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
