i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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