dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
