Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
