you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize