ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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