Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
