I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize