everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
