After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
