i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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