the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
