I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
