Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
