so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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