you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
