Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
