Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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