She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's always time for handjobs
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
