Its about making memories worth repressing
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize