Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
