It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
