Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
