worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
