I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it hurts more in the daytime
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
