you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
