Sponge bath it is.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
