But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
