The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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