either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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