They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
