yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
