Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize