I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Floor bacon is actually really good
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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