He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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