I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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