First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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