they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
