WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
