we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
MIDGETS
????
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
