found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
