just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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