Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
