Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
