I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
