and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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